Archive | June, 2013

I haven’t updated in a few months but this is because everyone is healthy and happy!!!

15 Jun

Ha! That’s a funny title, right?

All males large and small are sleeping. So much has happened since my last post when Simon Le Bon licked my floor clean and so much of it is stuff I just *can’t* talk about publicly. Which stinks, because it would be a great rant, and also because I kind of really need to talk about it. It makes me miss the “protected” format of Live Journal but, on the other hand, the point was to attempt to both Have A Public Blog and see if I could avoid getting in trouble by keeping my mouth shut when it’s wise to do so, something I am not great at. In my mind I’m an even bigger hippie who has nothing but kind words for everyone and sends happy rainbows to everyone in the world. I saw a woman like that at Trader Joe’s yesterday. Well, I don’t know if she was a happy rainbow person, but she was there in clothes that were too tight, and she looked so friendly and nice, I just wanted to ask her to be my friend, even though she’d probably be so positive that she ended up annoying me because she wouldn’t be capable of snarking about ANYTHING. I saw her in the parking lot and I wanted to follow her home. That’s creepy, right? I need to spend more time with friends so I don’t end up following strangers home from Trader Joe’s in the hopes that they’ll befriend me like some sad, strange, oversized puppy that only wants to be fed vegan food without scallions.

I was depressed about an entirely different disappointment so naturally I decided to become vegan. I don’t know the relationship there, and I’ve spent several minutes navel-gazing and trying to figure it out and I still don’t know. I have to say, though, I feel really good and I don’t miss animal products at all. I was worried that my hair was falling out but I decided that was probably in my head or possibly I need to eat more protein so I started adding flax seed and tofu to my morning smoothie.

This is not because I am super healthy, because I’m sure I’m NOT. I’m sure I’ll go to see my endo and she’ll tell me my blood work is that of a 76 year old 700 lb man and that I should really really lose weight and do the My Fitness Pal or the Weight Watchers. I have two basic problems with these programs.

1. They don’t give you enough CALORIES.
2. Tracking everything is BORING.

Well, that’s it about being vegan because I’m sure that the topic is boring to everyone even though it is a bit of an obsession with me. I listen to vegan podcasts all day and I don’t know why. Every time they talk about animal rights I feel cringey. I love animals as long as they stay far away from me. There is a dead bird on my lawn right now and I told Aaron, “Let’s just see if some scavengers come and take it overnight,” like there are flocks of buzzards circling above my house in Wilmington, Delaware right now just hoping that there is a dead bird on my lawn that they can conveniently pick up and take back to their nests FAR AWAY and eat there where I do not need to be part of the Circle of Life. Clearly I have spent too much time reading Clan of the Cave Bear books. (I HAVE spent too much time reading Clan of the Cave Bear books.)

Chaos Peanut finished kindergarten without incident and will be starting…

Aw, WordPress just deleted half a post and now Toddler is crying. More later, perhaps, or maybe in a few months, right?

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