My trendy, trendy kids

6 Oct

I think the thing is that I need to stop calling Toddler Peanut that because he might be allergic.

Also I can’t call Chaos Peanut that because we’re not to have peanuts around until we know for sure about Toddler. So, I guess we’ll just call him Curley. I think I would like to call my daughter Flower.

What happened was, a few months ago Curley ate a peanut butter cracker and his face got a little red and blotchy. It just made me go “hmmm,” even though he was fine but I mostly, albeit not with any great passion, avoided giving him peanuts. But I didn’t avoid them myself – far from it. I’m vegan, and I love peanut butter. All nuts. Love ’em. Plus, great source of protein and good fats! Yes, I was pro-peanut butter for sure.

Last week we went to a wedding, and I accidentally let Curley have a peanut butter cookie. There was a huge assortment of cookies, and Curley is crazy about cookies, so I handed him another and as I gave it to him I thought, “I think that was pean… oh well…” because he’d already eaten half of it.

Then Curley got red in the face and started pointing at his mouth. I made him show me his tongue to make sure it wasn’t swelling, it wasn’t, but he was very upset and fell asleep on me. But, he’d skipped his nap that day and had been dancing a lot. When we got home, he promptly threw up and then he was fine. So maybe he ate too much? Thought we’d mention it to the pediatrician next time we were there, which turned out to be pretty much the next day because poor Curley came down with Croup and needed steriods and a breathing treatment.

So, while he was there, The Bishop described all of this to the pediatrician and she said, “PANIC!!” (Those were not her exact words.) And she immediately prescribed an Epi-Pen ($90!) and ordered us to go see an allergist and told us no more peanuts, or tree nuts, until the allergist says it’s OK. Gah! We are still reeling from that. Conversations in our house still sound like this:

Me: “Bishop, what do you want for dinner?”

Bishop: “I want… oh… right… we can’t have peanuts.”

Me: “Or tree nuts.”

Bishop: “I guess I’ll just have cold cereal then.”

Me; “Yeah, that sounds good. I will too.”

We will adjust and prevail, I’m sure.

If Curley has a peanut allergy, then I will have two kids that have conditions about which people always seem to say, “What’s with kids today? Nobody in MY generation had peanut allergies! Nobody in MY generation had autism!” People say that kind of stuff to me all the time, even before we started worrying that Curley is allergic to peanuts. “So many kids today have peanut allergies! Nobody in my time had peanut allergies! So many kids today are getting diagnosed with autism! It’s really common now!”

Yes, autism and peanut allergy. What can I say? My kids are modern. They are of the times. They are on-trend. They’re like Miley Cirus only hopefully not at all like her, ever.


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