It is Tuesday, January 2nd. It is 1:03 p.m. Chaos Peanut, my five year old who has special needs, is sitting on the floor. She has just peed on that floor. My husband, Senator Mishegas, cleaned the pee off the floor. Then he washed his hands and went back to baking his pie.
The reason that he cleaned the floor, and he baked the pie, is that our ten week old baby, Baby Peanut, is napping. On me. That’s his favorite place to nap. His second favorite place to nap is on you. His third favorite place to nap is in the car. The only time I can get anything done is when he is not napping on me, and yet I am also not driving the car in which he is napping. That would mean that he is napping on you. When are you coming over?
I hope you’re not bothered by mess and chaos.
Chaos Peanut is begging for any kind of entertainment. She has a list. “I want T.V!” she crows. But she doesn’t get to watch T.V. because she peed on the floor. “I want movie!” she says. Same rules apply. “I want eat! Eat banana!” She has just eaten six containers of baby food mixed with baby cereal and Trader Joe’s sun butter. (It’s an issue, her diet. An issue for another post. Sometime. But for now, just know that she only eats soft foods. And by soft, I mean, foods with the texture of bisque. Only not as fancy.)
Finally she calls, “I want help!” She is standing by the menorahs that we haven’t put away from Hanukkah. She is singing the candle blessings. She wants Senator Mishegas to light the candles and sing with her. She doesn’t even care if she gets a present, she just wants to see the candles again, and hear the music.
It’s Hanukkah somewhere, right?
It must be Hanukkah somewhere.